Return to spender

Car thieves usually go for stereos or fancy hubcaps, but law students in the North should be warned that a new academic breed of criminal is currently stalking the streets of Bolton.

A poor first year law student at the University of Central Lancashire went home to visit his parents and happily parked his Fiat Uno outside as usual. While he lay sleeping, however, thieves smashed the car windows and nicked a sports bag filled with 400 worth of newly-purchased legal textbooks.

Gareth Monk, 19, used a local newspaper to issue a plea for the safe return of his books. “I don’t think they would be worth anything to anybody apart from me,” he reasoned. “I really need them back to complete my assignments.”

While the Snail has every sympathy for Mr Monk, one question needs to be asked: what were the textbooks doing sitting in his car when he should have been poring over them in his bedroom like every good law student ought to?