Lovells goes limp on condoms

Top ten City firm Lovells has removed the condom machines from the male toilets of its brand new headquarters just days after having them installed.

The firm claims a mix-up with the vending machine suppliers meant that, along with stomach settlers and paracetamol, a variety of condoms were on sale to solicitors, much “to the horror” of the firm’s senior management.

“We asked the vending people to put some things in the machines that would be helpful to people, such as headache tablets, in the loos,” said a senior source. “They took it upon themselves to shove in three different varieties of condom. We said we didn’t want them and they were taken away.”

But although the machines were swiftly closed and the condom facilities removed, sources close to the firm claim that the machines were emptied during the three days they were open.