Getting the chop

It’s a sign of the tough times we’re living through that law firms have started to wield the axe. Some have started with the number of jelly beans available in meeting rooms, others have been slashing staff where they can. Certainly, employees at intellectual property specialist Bird & Bird ought to be watching out for cuts, as it would seem that the firm has adopted a scarily surgical policy when it comes to staffing numbers.

Recent figures seen by the Snail reveal that Bird & Bird has a total of 352.5 fee-earners, while there are 102.8 partners. Yet the firm currently has 44 whole trainees, which leads the Snail to fear for the future safety of their body parts. Nothing is known about the horrific methods by which a green-behind-the-ears trainee can be hacked down to 0.8 of a partner, or even worse, half of a fee-earner, but the Snail will do his best to uncover the ghastly truth, no matter what it takes.