Are you thinking: “What a crap advert”?

Readers who travel by Tube may have noticed a rash of advertisements appearing on trains recently. “Are you thinking what we’re thinking?” they ask.

Well, if you’re thinking that the adverts are courtesy of the Conservative Party, you’d be wrong. They are in fact promoting the services of a law firm.

In a fake handwriting font, each advert proclaims “It’s time to impose limits”, before finishing the sentence with the thing on which limits are to be imposed. The Snail has variously seen “on a heap of old hogwash & balderdash”, “on a lot of old cobblers”, and, bafflingly, “on a load of old flapdoodle”.

The Snail found himself utterly confused as to what ‘flapdoodle’ might be and why it’s time to stamp down on it.

The firm concerned provides the usual range of services, from conveyancing to company and commercial, but proclaims finally: “And of course… immigration.”

Election bandwagon-jumping? Surely not.