And Nero fiddled

NEWS just in from Russia, where a young lawyer was so shocked by the ’70s film Caligula that he is trying to claim “moral damages” from his local cinema.

According to local radio reports, Mikhail Sharovskiy thought Caligula, which stars Helen Mirren and John Gielgud, was a high-quality historical film about the rise and fall of the Roman Empire.

Although the Snail has never actually seen the film, he understands that it does, in fact, involve some amount of rising and falling because it is one of the most expensive adult films ever made and contains more crude sex than you can shake a toga at.

Mr Sharovskiy, who saw the film three years ago, claims he has been psychologically scarred by the experience and has suffered difficult relations with his parents ever since.

Although he has already brought an unsuccessful claim against the Ministry of Culture, Sharovskiy has now turned his attention to the cinema which showed the film in the first place and is seeking R500,000 (9,792) in compensation.

The Snail plans to keep a close eye on this case and, if Sharovskiy is successful, may launch a claim worth 4.50 against the cinema that dared to show Kevin Costner’s Waterworldback in 1995. Watch this space.